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We all know that we should forgive ourselves for our mistakes, but until somebody teaches you how, the path to redemption isn’t always obvious. In this episode, I’m going to break down what it means when you’re feeling guilty or ashamed, and what to do about it.:
- Remorse serves to reflect and improve oneself to avoid repeating past mistakes.
- Guilt arises from specific wrongful actions, while shame is a deeper feeling of being a bad person.
- When you recognize your position in your redemption arc, you can make amends and grow as a person.
- Continuous self-reflection and learning from past actions are essential for personal development and need not lead to perpetual guilt or shame.
- Unlike manufactured objects that degrade over time, humans grow and evolve throughout life, and past mistakes do not define one’s current worth.
- Individuals should assess their behaviors with kindness and understanding, similar to how a good parent or teacher would guide a child, rather than harshly criticizing themselves.
- Many people hold themselves to harsher standards than they would apply to friends; recognizing this double standard can foster self-compassion.
- Everyone deserves moments of joy and forgiveness, regardless of past transgressions, and self-compassion is integral to healing.
- Instead of asking self-deprecating questions, individuals should focus on what kind of person they want to be and the values they wish to uphold moving forward.
0:00 – Intro
0:54 – The difference between guilt and shame
1:43 – Guilt means a good thing
2:21 – Life is a redemption arc
3:42 – Everyone has regrets
5:35 – The utility of remorse
6:07 – What it means to be a lifelong learner
7:16 – Humans get better with time, not worse
9:33 – How to learn from your mistakes
11:25 – When to stop of punishing yourself
13:25 – Everyone deserves a second chance (to know better next time)
16:27 – Treat yourself as a friend
18:21 – Who do you want to be tomorrow?
20:12 – Outro
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Luke founded The Morpheus Clinic for Hypnosis in 2006 after receiving an Honours Bachelor of Arts degree from the University of Toronto. His approach is client- and solution-focused, brief and humanistic. You can learn more about his life philosophy through the social media links below.