How to Stop Being a Perfectionist (Ep. 19)

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In one of our most focused episodes to date, Luke deconstructs the notion of perfection and suggests achiveable standards, such as authentic self-expression, that are still worth striving toward:

• Perfection is an unrealistic and unattainable standard that no one can truly achieve, even in simple tasks like drawing a perfect circle.
• Holding yourself to a standard of perfection is unnecessarily cruel and prevents you from being genuine, authentic, and relatable to others.
• Your worth as a human being is independent of any criteria or flaws, just as you would not reject a friend for having “imperfections.”
• Limitations, flaws, and imperfections are where we find room for connection, growth, and the formation of meaningful relationships.
• As an adult, you will often find yourself at the “edge of knowledge” where there are no clear answers, and you must rely on your own inner guidance and reasoning.
• Perfection is a concept that looks to the past, whereas true progress often requires breaking from the mold of what has been done before.
• The 80/20 rule suggests that trying to achieve 100% perfection often results in diminishing returns and is not worth the excessive effort.
• Your inner critic has few valid opinions and should be ignored, as true criticism must come from a place of appreciation and understanding.
• Perfectionism often stems from a sense of low self-worth, and recognizing your inherent human value can help you let go of this unrealistic standard.
• The goal should be to recognize where you are already doing well enough, rather than faulting yourself for falling short of an impossible ideal of perfection.

Table of Contents:

00:00 – Intro
00:56 – You can only expect perfection in elementary tasks
03:31 – Perfection is unnatural
05:30 – Your favorite things aren’t perfect
07:44 – In most human endeavors, perfection isn’t necessary
08:33 – There is no such thing as a perfect animal or plant
10:40 – The rules for how we treat life are different from the rules for how we treat objects
12:40 – Our lack of perfection, our “scratches,” are where practices of healing, friendship, and community take place
16:01 – Imperfection, or deviation from the model, is the only way to make something yours
25:23 – Perfectionism erases individuality
25:59 – 80/20 rule
28:13 – Reframing your inner critic
32:40 – Perfectionism and low self-worth
36:13 – The way to overcome perfectionism
37:00 – Outro

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